Bits & Pieces                                                         

                                                         

                                                                                                  
        

For Sale                                                      
                                                           
"Brand new"  Flame Design Heated Hand Grips
                                                                             

Fits 2008 Touring models only. Selling for $175 ono. Contact Andrew at alowther@vic.australis.com.au
 

 

                                                                                    
                                                                                          *****************************                                   

 

                                                                                                     


 

                                                                                    **********************************

Motorcycle wisdom of the road

• Saddlebags can never hold everything you want, but they CAN hold everything you need.
• Home is where your bike sits still long enough to leave a few drops of oil on the ground.
• The only good view of a thunderstorm is in your rearview mirror.
• Harleys don't leak oil, they mark their territory.
• Never mistake horsepower for staying power.
• If you don't ride in the rain - you don't ride.
• A bike on the road is worth two in the shed.
• Young riders pick a destination and go. . . Old riders pick a direction and go.
• A good mechanic will let you watch without charging you for it.
• Sometimes the fastest way to get there is to stop for the night.
• Winter is Nature's way of telling you to polish your bike.
• Well-trained reflexes are quicker than luck.
• The best alarm clock is sunshine on chrome.
• A friend is someone who'll get out of bed at 2 am to drive his pickup to the middle of nowhere.
• There's something ugly about a NEW bike on a trailer.
• Never be ashamed to unlearn an old habit
• Maintenance is as much art as it is science.
• If you ride like there's no tomorrow - there won't be.
• Gray-haired riders don't get that way from pure luck
• There are drunk riders. There are old riders. There are NO old, drunk riders.
• No matter what make you ride, it's all the same wind.
• Only a Biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window

 

                                                                                        ************************

                                                                                                 "Hog Owner And Proud Of It"

 

 

                                       ************************

  Watch the signs


 A police officer pulled over two nuns riding on a motorcycle, and said to the rider, 'Ma'am, you're driving much too slowly,      could you please drive faster?"
 And the nun says, 'Oh, I saw the sign with the "21" and assumed the speed limit was 21 km/h"
 The officer explains: 'No ma'am, the speed limit is 80. The highway number is Interstate 21."
 Then the police officer look at the passenger and see the other nun shaking like a leaf.
 "Excuse me sister, but what's wrong with your passenger?"
 "Oh, that's probably because we just got off Highway 205."

 

                                      ************************

                               

                                                                     
                                                                                       ************************

 A little old lady wants to join a local biker club !


 A little old lady had always wanted to join a local biker club. One day she goes up and knocks on the door. A big, hairy, bearded biker  with tattoos all over his arms answers.
 She proclaims, "I want to join your club."
 The guy was amused, but says she needs to meet certain biker requirements in order to join.
 The biker asks: "Do you have a motorcycle?"
 The little old lady replies: "Yep... my bike's parked over there", and points to a Harley in the driveway.
 The biker asks: "Do you drink?"
 The little old lady replies: "Yep... drink like a fish. I'll drink any man in your club under the table."
 The biker asks: "Do you smoke?"
 The lady replies: "Yep... smoke like a chimney. At least 4 packs of cigarettes a day while I'm shooting pool."
 Very impressed the biker asks: "Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
 The old lady thinks for a minute and says: Nope, ... but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times." 

  

                                                                 ************************

Avid Rider

 There's a fellow who is an avid rider. Actually he's a motorcycle fanatic.
He has not missed a weekend of motorcycle riding in years.
Every Saturday and Sunday morning he gets up very early and goes meets his buddies for a nice long ride. On this one morning, he gets up early, gets dressed, gets his riding gear out of the closet and goes out to the garage to prepare to leave.
While out there it started raining a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind is blowing at 60km .He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the Weather Channel. From there he finds it's going to be bad weather all day long. So he puts his bike back into the garage and comes back inside. He quietly undresses and slips back into bed where he cuddles up to his wife's back, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."
To which she replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out riding his bike today."

 

                                                                  ************************
 

 Women's Love Poem
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

  

 Men's Love Poem

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with
huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.

 

                                                       

                                                                                      ************************

   **  Members if you have anything you would like to sell, a joke you want to tell or anything you want to say! give Wayne or Nancy a hoy to upload it for you will be a joy.  **